Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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