There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We were destined to go to rehab together
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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