it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
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I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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