you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
