I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
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Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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