Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i dont even know how to be here
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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