you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
