My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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