So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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