so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
