Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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