You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
