Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
