I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
