Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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