I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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