he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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