I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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