That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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