one two three fourrrrnication!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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