My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
