did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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