How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it