Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
