He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
