dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
