I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
