I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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