Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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