i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
