Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Are we still banned from the library?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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