and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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