Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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