windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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