omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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