Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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