Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
