i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am one with the molecules
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
