Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
