He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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