If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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