I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
