I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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