So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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