Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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