So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No subtext here. People are naked.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
