It's Friday. Sex?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
