a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
