Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
