i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
