You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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