your parents love me but you hate me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
