i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
