Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
