I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
