You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
