come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ladies don't puke and tell
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
