well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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