Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she peed on how many people?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
