Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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