i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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