I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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