I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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