oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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