Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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