:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize