Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
