we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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