Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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