he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize