I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba