Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
